Emotional Connection: How Small Actions Can Turn You Away.

Hello, my friends! 🧡 Let’s talk about something significant today—your relationships. We all want those meaningful emotional connections with our loved ones, right? But sometimes, without even realizing it, we might be doing little things that push us apart instead of bringing us closer. I’m talking about those small, everyday actions that can turn you away from the people you care about most.

The Importance of Bids in Building to Strengthen Emotional Connections.

Now, if you’ve been following the Gottman Institute like I have, you’ve probably heard of something called relationship bids. But just in case you haven’t, let me break it down for you. A bid is when you or your partner reach out to connect—whether it’s a simple “How was your day?” or a smile across the room. These relationship bids are the building blocks of healthy relationships and lasting bonds.

What Are Relationship Bids?

A bid can be as subtle as a text, a touch, or a little sigh. It’s your way of saying, “Hey, look at me, I need you.” And guess what? When you respond to these bids, you’re nurturing your emotional connection. That’s right, folks—every bid you turn towards strengthens your bond and brings you closer.

The Consequences of Ignoring Bids

But let me tell you, my friends, ignoring or rejecting these bids is a fast track to emotional disengagement. You might not mean to turn away, but distractions—like scrolling through social media or binge-watching your favorite show—can lead to what we call bid busters. These are the habits that can hurt your relationship without you even realizing it. And over time, if those relationship bids keep getting ignored, it can lead to detachment, loneliness, and—let’s be real here—sometimes even breakups. 😔

Common Distractions That Lead to Emotional Disengagement

Let’s face it—we live in a world full of distractions. Technology can be a major bid buster. I mean, how many times have you picked up your phone when someone was talking to you? Or maybe you were so wrapped up in work or a book that you missed that little moment when your partner reached out.

Technology as a Major Bid Buster

Cell phones, laptops, TV shows… they all compete for our attention. But when you choose these over your partner’s bid, you risk creating a gap between you. And trust me, that gap can grow wider over time if you’re not careful.

Everyday Distractions and Their Impact on Relationships

It’s not just tech, though. Stress, fatigue, or even our own interests can make us turn away without realizing it. But the truth is, when you turn toward your partner’s relationship bids, you’re showing them that they matter. And isn’t that what we all want? To feel seen, heard, and valued?

Personal Stories: How Turning Toward Each Other Strengthens Bonds

Let me share a little something personal. As a mom of two boys, I’ve had to learn to turn toward their bids—even when they’re talking about things that don’t exactly light my fire. Roblox, Anime, and Marvel movies? Not my thing, folks! But I’ve come to realize it’s not about the subject; it’s about the emotional connection. When I listen, I’m telling them, “I care about you.” And that, my friends, makes all the difference.

Parenting and Connection: Finding Common Ground

I know I’m not alone in this. As parents, we sometimes want to steer the conversation to things we find important—like feelings or future plans. But remember, every time you turn toward what interests your kids, you’re building that emotional connection that will last a lifetime.

Spousal Connection: The Importance of Mutual Interests

And this isn’t just about kids. My husband loves talking about cybersecurity and app development—subjects that might as well be in another language to me! But when I take the time to listen and engage, he feels appreciated. And guess what? He turns toward me more, too. That’s the magic, folks—that’s how we strengthen our relationships.

Practical Tips to Avoid Being a ‘Bid Buster’

So, how can you avoid being a bid buster? It’s all about practicing attention, intention, and curiosity. When you’re mindful of those relationship bids, you create opportunities to grow closer.

Cultivating Attention and Intention in Your Relationships

Start by paying attention to those small signals—the texts, the smiles, the little touches. Be intentional about responding to them. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; just a moment of connection can make all the difference.

The Power of Curiosity in Maintaining Emotional Bonds

And hey, get curious! Even if the topic doesn’t thrill you, your interest shows your partner that they do. And that, my friends, is the secret sauce to lasting love.

So, are you ready to turn towards your loved ones? To pay attention to those relationship bids and avoid the pitfalls of emotional disengagement? I know you are! Because when you mind it, it matters—and that’s how you’ll see your relationships bloom.

Remember, if you want to dive deeper, the Gottman Relationship Adviser is a fantastic resource to guide you on this journey.